WHY YOU SHOULDN'T THANK SERVICE MEMBERS ON MEMORIAL DAY
This weekend the nation remembers those veterans who have lost their lives in the service of our country - in our service. If you know a veteran, please save your thanks for Veteran's Day. Though every service member writes a blank check to be filled out for any amount up to and including his or her life, this day is reserved for those who have given the ultimate sacrifice. Please pray for families and friends on this day, and celebrate the freedoms we have because of them, enjoying time with our own family and friends.
Memorial Day is a day to consider sacrifice, and the strange relationship between solemnity and joy, cause and effect, death and life. It is a day to pay our respects to those in our military who gave of themselves all that they had to give, leaving tragedy, mourning, and years of missed birthdays and Christmases in their wake. This great gift was given willingly so that you might experience freedom to the fullest. They die, that you might live more abundantly. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no man than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." This is certainly fitting here, as the soldier's truest motivation in the moment of battle is to fight for the man next to him.
How then, can we smile and laugh and have barbecue on this day? When adequate time is given to reflect on the sacrifices of our dead, joy seems misplaced. Yet, I believe a respectful joy is called for. Let me explain what I mean. We celebrate July 4th because it is the day of Independence and freedom. Many fought and died to give us this freedom, and we honor them. We also honor what they fought for - freedom and life - and I believe there is no better way to celebrate their lives and service than by rejoicing in the lives they died to give us. Let me be clear. The celebration is not a frivolous, thoughtless celebration. Rather, it is a deep joy emanating from gratitude, made all the richer and more meaningful by being brought to us only by the blood-stained hands of those we seek to honor and respect today. There is a joy inescapably entwined with sorrow.
For the service member, your thanks are misplaced today. When you thank the soldier today, he thinks of his fallen comrade and desperately wants him to be remembered. The airman, the marine, the military man or woman needs you to remember the fallen. Every day these men and women carry with them the memory of someone who gave all they had to give, often wearing bracelets to commemorate their sacrifice. It doesn't feel right to be thanked unjustly. This is how military members feel.
On Veteran's Day, or any other time when you hear someone is in the military and want to thank them for their service, I encourage you to do so. I am not a service member, but as a military spouse and having talked to a number of service members, I know that even on those days they generally do not feel comfortable with thanks. There is always someone who has done more, given more, and is more deserving. The new recruit looks at his team leader and says, "I have not given of my life the way he has." The team leader looks at those more experienced, with more injuries and more tours, and says, "I have given so little." The individual who has been awarded the highest military honor, the Medal of Honor, by the Commander in Chief, has charged into the fray and perhaps lost limbs and psychological peace, yet he knows perhaps more securely than the others that he is the very smallest of all.
Somewhere out there is the veteran who has given and seen the most yet survived. This is the one who is likely to be the humblest in all the military, because this individual lost so many friends firsthand and seeks with all that he is to lift up those that he lost. He may speak to the news or talk shows despite feeling uncomfortable, for the express reason of saying their names and stating their sacrifice, to be forever remembered and honored. He lives his life quietly, humbly, almost reverently, and thinks little of himself. He is revered by those below him, yet he who is closest to the sacrifice feels the expanse greatest of all.
I cannot help but see the parallel between the life sacrificed in combat and the life Jesus sacrificed for us. In John 10:10, he says, "I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly," and in verse 18, "No one takes it [life] away from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again." In John 15:12-13, we are told, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus died for not only friends, but for those who hated Him. The closer you are to the sacrifice, the more you realize how needed it is, how raw and painful, and the humbler you become as you are at a vantage point allowing you to better understand the great expanse between what He has done and everything we could ever hope to accomplish, which turns to ash in comparison. We have joy and abundant life not because we glory in His death, but because He died and came back to life again to save us from our destitute state and be our substitute, taking on Himself what we deserved.
I believe on other days, we should thank the military for their service. The writing of the blank check should be honored, no matter what circumstances cause the amount to be filled out to. Thanking service members is also good for us as citizens and as people, as it forces us to recognize that freedom is not free and humbles us to acknowledge that we need them. The military needs to know they are supported, and the person doing the thanking is impacted by the act. As hard as it is, I also believe that service members should accept thanks as well as they can muster, particularly on Veteran's Day, so that the public can express gratitude to the only ones alive to receive it. Sometimes there is no control over which soldier gets hit by the mortar and which lives, and each were willing to die. Nevertheless, on Memorial Day, it is appropriate that any thanks be deflected and redirected to those who have given their lives, as this is truly their day. This is a day of remembrance; let us remember. Freedom is not free.
John 10:7-18
"Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."
I believe this B.C. comic strip applies to both Memorial Day and Easter, capturing the joy entwined with sorrow sentiment I described earlier.